Ok. Let's be honest. The past few weeks have been absolute torture for some TV heads. I mean having to endure a ceaseless stream of 24 hour news cycles chronicling the sex & drug fuelled implosion of one of Tinseltown's most talentless tools is enough to make any viewer's ears and eyes bleed (those persons more intimately involved may complain of bleeding from other orifices!). Having said that, as a piece of smutty sur-reality tv, Charlie Spleen's traveling circus of tiger blood and strookers has been hoot!
We love it when the freak precedes the show and we love it even more when one of our paid clowns slips and busts his crown one of his own guilded turds. The response from most professional pundits has been predictable, and they have been quick to condemn Charlie Sheen's behaviour as depraved and immoral, branding him a lunatic and a menace to those close to everyone within earshot.
But are the pundits right in their rush to judgment? Are we really diagnosing the situation correctly? Or are we performing the autopsy before the body is even dead, killing the patient in the process? Self-aggrandizing pronouncements and malevolent tone aside (yeah, i'm rolling my eyes too), I've been struck by the lucidity and wit of Charlie Sheen's dope-box rants.
Given the conservative tone that pervades in most of what passes for pop culture in America today, it's certainly possible that Charlie Sheen is being misrepresented in his own words in the media. Maybe we are so caught up in the spectacle of the morbid exhibitionism that we might actually be three monkeys (deaf dumb mute) to what Charlie Sheen is trying to say.
If Sheen's epic attempts to BOTH fulfil AND justify his ambition to snort and fuck himself out of existence, aren't worthy our admiration/envy/awe - then MAYBE at least it is worthy of a closer look. I mean the man may be putting his sack on the line for what may be one of the best self-reflexive pieces of performance art since Andy Kaufman implosion in the 70s. Or maybe not. Who knows? Sometimes the best way to the bottom of a sticky question like this, is to ask a ton more questions. So here are a series of questions that we hope are as loaded as Charlie is.
LOADED QUESTIONS
• Is Charlie Sheen really a maybe-not-so-unwitting post-modern moralist, self consciously regurgitating the very same tepid TV pap that's been accumulating in our collective guts for the past decade - like some 6 year old tv-addled sugar junkie reciting lines from his favourite sitcoms and commercials to show mommy and daddy that tv does make you smart? In other words aren't half-baked catch phrases like Tiger Blood - Adonis Gene - Drug Called Charlie Sheen - already Naked Lunch on the Pop Cult menu.
• Or is Charlie Sheen basically holding up a wobbly coke smeared mirror, reflecting our own depraved dependency on that daily fix of salacious celebrity smack, and morbid media trash that permeates the airwaves, effectively exposing the codependent relationship between his addictions and our own…and vice versa? And If so, does our gawking at the spectacle validate his view that we'd all be doing what he's doing if we had his resources and (ahem) 'Adonis Blood'. After all, ideas are the mother of all actions, are they not?
• Or is this Lenny Bruce-like meltdown some kind of entropic one man po-mo sideshow designed to remind us that it takes two to do the TV town tango and that the inevitable consequence of outsourcing our dreams to Hollywood is that you often receive dreck in equal proportion to the dreams?
• Or is Sheen like some coked-up stunt double of his previous bad boy self, ripping through the hollywood landscape like a ball of fire, blowing up bridges, blazing up 3 oz crack rocks, battering starlets, and biting the hand that signs his checks, all while putting a bullet in every foot in sight except his own?
• Or is Charlie Sheen just the latest in a long line of sociopathic hollywood gas sacks bloated with a hot dose of crack vapours and a sense of entitlement, spewing his toxic tirades into the airwaves like some atavistic cult leader fresh out of the cryogenic deep freeze and trying to con us into swallowing the same lethal dose of laissez-faire libertarianism and ubermensch twiddle twaddle that his kids wife ex-wife and strookers seem lap up like cool aid?
What do you guys think? I look forward to hearing your comments on this.
This is brilliant.. Finally someone who calls a spade a spade
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the world of bloggin heaven help us all
Thanks for the encouragement Edub, much appreciated!
ReplyDeleteGreat Post. Some worthwhile observations, here. I think that a great many of us have collectively contributed to the "24 Hour Golden Shower" you speak of...
ReplyDeleteThe culture of celebrity is such that, in order for it to survive, IT MUST HAVE AN AUDIENCE. And good ol' Chuck seems to have become yet another added attraction to the Hollywood Freak Show; a show MANY of us have enthusiastically bought tickets for(but are reluctant to admit it).
Charlie Sheen's relationship with the media is, at best, like that of co-dependent drug addicts: dysfuntional, toxic and exploitative. We can analyze this until we're blue in the face but the truth is, we love watching EVERY MINUTE of this train-wreck -- all from our very safe & secure, immaculate, padded little perches...
It's been a brilliant post modern drama. "It's funny cause it's true".
ReplyDeleteI do hope there is some degree of intention to this whole thing on his part and it is some sort of Andy Kaufman-like performance art piece, and if it is....then in my books he is certainly "winning".
I've read that it's believed that his contract with Warner Bros. contains a "no morals" clause making it difficult for them to actually burn him for his behaviour off the screen no matter how "deparaved". If this is the case then Warner Bros. would most likely settle out of court rather risk legal battle.
Couple that with the fact that he holds the attention of millions of potential TV viewers despite having no actual show is just plain old genius.
A world record for twitter followers within a 24 hour period and I'm sure his streaming web broadcast is getting similar traffic. Maybe he doesn't need a network. If nothing else...he's without doubt new king of the one-liners. It'll be interesting to see how long he can hold the attention of the people with this onoing meltdown. You never know...it worked for Robert Downey Jr.
I think I'm closest to question 2. I don't normally delve in pop culture and am happy to not know much about it, but the sheen has reached people all over, because whilst beeing entertaining for mostly the wrong reasons, somewhere in there he is making valid points. He is mocking the pure lucridity of the fact that he can get so much press by giving the entertainment world the finger and watching it, and most who indulge it, gobble it up.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've heard about what happens in the background in hollywood, maybe this is one of the rare times where it's being played out for all to see.
At the end of the day, I hate reality tv, and tired of the sheen dream pretty quick, but while paying attention I was surely entertained.
Love your'e writing PE. Keep it up!
Hi John,
ReplyDeleteNice post yourself! You raise some really interesting points. I think that we generally agree on the issue. Except that you can count me among the blue-faced obsessives...I'm drawn to the ambivalence of Charlie Sheen shituation...not the malfaisance...cuz choking strookers aint cool....but lucid commentary. And i generally enjoy it when people try to bust out of the prescribed roles that are assigned to them. Remember Howard Beale in Network. I think that it's important that we reserve a space for the freaks and the cranks to be heard
Marc,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments. We obviously parc in the same garage on this. I didn't know about the 'no morals clause'. It gives the whole drama a whiff of premeditation that makes it much sweeter.
2 Million tweets in 24hrs is insane. Question is will he be able to keep the wind in his sails or will he be just another celebrity t-shirt flapping about in the breeze?
I wonder what the british bookies are sayin...
Hey Hittah,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the post and the jaundiced view that you cast on the whole Sheen phenomenon. I think that flipping 'the man' off whilst cashing his checks has got to be the most satisfying ways of making a living....not to mention one of the most honest ;o)
My real problem with Charlie Sheen is that he's abusive to women and so he's not someone I think we should make into any sort of hero.
ReplyDelete